The Hitman’s Bodyguard needs a bodyguard from the critics

I implore you to stay away from this dreadful, woeful film unless you are studying how to make dreadful, woeful films.
Somewhere through the making of The Bodyguard’s Hitman, it must have morphed from the film it was meant to be – a classy thriller – into raging, banal comedy. Ryan Reynolds comes off the set on his latest ad for fibre optics and keeps the same sense of acting in place rendering the film a misfiring and badly calculated collection of actions pieces.
And yet the cast was so good. Samuel L Jackson as the hitman, Salma Hayek, and Gary Oldman (have a word with your agent).

The plot, as old as the oldest joke, takes its measures from Midnight Run – that excellent cop taking an accountant to testify in court – and mixes with next generation Lethal Weapon. On all levels it misses. There was just no enjoyment in this. The level of profanity makes its 15 rating a slight embarrassment (as if the certification board could only sit through ten minutes of the movie) but it was what I term ‘ugly’ dialogue.
There was plenty of action which ran out of steam and the tone of the movie was misjudged. The worst moment is when the police insider or mole as they call him, actually speaks to the villain from inside the police headquarters. Now, that’s why the police don’t know who the mole is.
Dumb, dated, and nonsensical. Stay clear.